Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Reversing Low Self-esteem -article from breslev.co.il

Part 2 - Healthy Jewish Self Esteem

Last week, we talked about how so many people can't get to a state of feeling genuinely 'happy', because they have low self-esteem. This low self-esteem is a result of being constantly criticised when we were younger, and made to feel that if we weren't 'perfect', no-one could love us or like us or accept us, including G-d, our parents and ourselves.

So what to do about this epidemic of low self-esteem? How could I undo all the negative programming I received as a kid, and start to really appreciate me for me, all warts and all?

Breslev Israel's Dr. Zev Ballen writes and speaks a lot about this. He explains that the majority of decisions that are brains are making, are really being made by our unconscious minds, which for most of us are being completely controlled by our evil inclinations. We have no idea what's really going on 'on the inside of us'.

Let's give a practical example: our conscious mind decided to stay away from chocolate cake, and here we are eating our third slice, and feeling terrible about it.

How does this happen? Because the 'bad voice' is telling us things all the time, that we aren't even aware of. All I know is that I wanted to stick to my diet, but somewhere deep down I started to feel down and depressed

and worthless, and now I'm trying to fill that gap with Duncan Hines…

It's only once we can 'tap in' to what our evil inclination is telling us, in our subconscious, and bring it up to our conscious minds, that we can start to really 'choose' something different.

And there's really only one way to do that: talk to G-d, and ask Him to show us what's really going on, so we can start to consciously tackle it.

So the first solution to building healthy Jewish self esteem is: Prayer

We need to ask G-d to 'catch' the things the evil inclination is consistently criticising us about, in our subconscious.

In her book, 'It's all in your mind', Sara Yosef listed a lot of things that impact healthy self-esteem: (All the following are rooted in a lack of emuna, that G-d is controlling every detail in the world; and a lack of belief that G-d created us all as unique individuals with our own special mission and aptitudes.)

1. Comparing and competing

2. Criticism and striving for perfection

3. Looking for 'appreciation' from others, instead of appreciating ourselves

4. Surrendering and 'sacrificing' - the suffering martyr, full of self-pity. These people expect to be admired for their 'self-sacrifice' - and whine continually about how hard their lives are.

5. Doing kindnesses for others, while ignoring our own needs and our own families

6. Refusing to accept gifts or compliments - a type of false humility. We like people to feel 'beholden' to us, if we've done them a favour, or to admire our 'altruism' for doing things for free.

7. Refusing offers of help

8. Disrespecting others.

9. Worrying about 'what others will say,

10. Indecisiveness - we don't want to deal with responsibility, or the possible 'failure' of our decisions. Strangely, this is related to arrogance. Only arrogant people can't accept failure.

11. Hypersensitivity and anger - very touchy people who fly off the hook, and are offended by every little thing, because they interpret everything as 'proving' their lack of self-worth.

So the second solution to building healthy Jewish self-esteem is: Stay away from people, attitudes and environments that destroy self-esteem

Because unless we have perfect self-esteem (and who does, these days?) - we're all guilty of doing at least some of the above, some of the time, and all it's doing is hurting us! What else is Facebook, except one huge invitation to rub your successes in other people's face; trash other people's opinions and lifestyles; and try to come off as 'top dog'?

But we don't need to be surfing on-line to be doing this stuff. For example, I realized that I find it very difficult to accept offers of help from guests who I invite for Shabbat, or from friends who want to lighten the load when I'm doing a kiddush, or some other event.

I always thought it was a good thing, to have this 'independence', and to not rely on other people. Now, I see that in a warped way, it's a kind of arrogance that's rooted in my low self-esteem. What if they bring a cake, and it's better than the dessert I made?! (Let's face it, that's not so hard to imagine…) What if they have better ideas how to decorate the table!? I'll feel so bad about myself!

Thankfully, I'm starting to let that go, at least a bit. It's still like pulling teeth, but now when someone asks if they can help me, I'm forcing myself to say 'yes'. (I don't actually mean it, but hey, it's a start.)

The last solution to building healthy Jewish self-esteem is:Learning to love and accept ourselves

At its root, low self-esteem occurs because we don't really love and accept ourselves. All the 'thinking' in the world is not going to change this - we need to start challenging the 'negative voices' by putting some positive stuff in there. Again, Dr. Zev talks a lot about how to do this, practically, but the main idea is that we don't just let our evil inclination's ideas about us, and our faults and our issues, go unchallenged.

Below, there's a simple exercise you can do, to get a feel about how to start replacing all that internal negativity with some much-needed positivity.

Other things we can do to build our healthy Jewish self-esteem includes: listening to Rav Arush - play his 'Vote for happiness' clip every single day! - listening to Rabbi Brody's emuna CDs; watching Dr Zev's VODs; reading the emuna books, at least a few sentences every day. These things all have a dramatic, growing impact over time, because all their emuna, all their positivity, helps to reprogram our inner world, which is so full of criticism and self-dislike and cynicism and despair about ourselves.

G-d loves us! Unconditionally! G-d really just wants to give us. He really just wants us to be happy, even though we aren't perfect. And if G-d wants that for us, let's do whatever we can to help Him to give it to us.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Exercise: Accepting ourselves

EFT is all about challenging negative emotions and reactions in the subconscious by replacing the negative with the positive. Typically, you're meant to tap your meridian points in the body to 'release negative emotions' as you speak. If you want to do that, go right ahead, but I found it worked great just by saying the words and doing a bit of minimal rubbing.

The following exercise is so simple, but with G-d's help, it could really have a profound impact on raising our self-esteem and encouraging us to love ourselves:

Rub the breast bone, which is the seat of our emotions. While rubbing, say three times: "I love and accept myself as I am, and so does Hashem."

(If you're finding it incredibly difficult to say that, you are not alone! A lot of people find this difficult, particularly if they were raised in very critical environments. But don't despair: a big part of the solution is to identify the problem. Keep trying, and eventually you'll be able to say it easily - and when you do, it means that you've also started to believe it.)

You can move on to challenging the negative voices in the same way, like this:

1. "Even though the main course I made for my Shabbat guests was half-raw, I still love and accept myself as I am, and so does G-d."

2. "Even though I just lost it completely with my child, I still love and accept myself as I am, and so does G-d."

3. "Even though I feel disgustingly fat today, I still love and accept myself as I am, and so does G-d."

You can make repeated, positive affirmations like this an integral part of your personal prayer, or talking to G-d. Whenever you hit a bad day, a bad patch, a bad mood, just turn it into a prayer, and you'll see that you instantly feel much better, calmer and happier.

* * *
Check out Rivka Levy's new book The Happy Workshop based on the teachings of Rabbi Shalom Arush

Posted on Wednesday, April 24, 2013 by Keturah Ariel

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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

“Mr. Koala: Happy & Sleepy-Time Bear” Pattern

“Mr. Koala: Happy & Sleepy-Time Bear”

Koala Bear Pillow and matching Infant Mini-travel/receiving blanket

By: Keturah Ariel

Level: Intermediate/Advanced

Materials

· Yarn Needle and matching thread for your main yarn and accent yarn colors

· Stuffing for pillow

· Hook Size: 10 US/ 6.0 mm size

· TOTAL skeins used for entire project including left-over yarn: 7 skeins.

(For my project I used Light blue, dark blue and white skeins to create the Koala Bear and Infant mini-travel/receiving blanket.)

Yarn Details:

Pillow: 2 skeins of medium worsted yarn, 1 skein fluffy or fun yarn for ears, 1 skein of different color for eyes, nose and accents

Infant Mini-travel/receiving blanket: 2 skeins of the same colors used for the pillow, 1 skein fluffy or fun yarn for the border

Method:

Pillow: Crochet in the round. Blanket: Grannysquare

Gauge

Pillow measured about 12 inches in height and width. Blanket was around 30 inches square.

Abbreviations

SC-single crochet

DC-double crochet

Instructions:

Bear  Instructions : (make 2) : Note that ch 3 at beg. of each rnd counts as first stitch.  Rnd 1: With off-white, ch 4, 11 dc in 4 th ch from hook, join with sl st in top of ch 3 (12 dc).  Rnd 2: Ch 3, dc in same st, 2 dc in ech st around, join with sl st in top of ch 3 (24).  Rnd 3: Ch 3, 2 dc in next st, (dc in next st, 2 dc in next st) around, join (36).  Rnd 4: Ch 3, dc in next st, 2 dc in next st, (dc in each of next 2 sts, 2 dc in next st) around, join (48).  Rnd 5: Ch 3, dc in each of next 2 sts, 2 dc in next st, (dc in each of next 3 sts, 2 dc in next st) around, join (60).  Rnd 6: Ch 3, dc in each of next 3 sts, 2 dc in next st, (dc in next 4 sts, 2 dc in next st) around, join (72).  Rnd 7: Ch 3, dc in next 4 sts, 2 dc in next st, (dc in next 5 sts, 2 dc in next st ) around join (84).  Rnd 8: Ch 3, dc in next 5 sts, 2 dc in next st, (dc in next 6 sts, 2 dc in next st) around, join (96).  Rnd 9: Ch 1, sc in first 7 sts, 2 sc in next st, (sc in next 7 sts, 2 sc in next st) around, join, fasten off (108).  Holding wrong sides of body together and matching sts. work sc in each stitch, stuffing as you go.

Pillow: You will create 2 separate circles for each side of the pillow. Start with one circle and then repeat the process below for the second circle.

Side One:

Chain 4 stitches. Work slip stitch into 1^st chain. You have created a small foundation circle. Work 10 SC stitches through the middle loop around these 4 stitches creating 10 stitches on the foundation loop. Join row by slip stitching into the first and last stitches closing the foundation row. (In this project, you will join each new row with a slip stitch)

ROW 1: DC 2 times in each of the 10 stitches for a total of 20 stitches.

ROW 2. DC entire row.

ROW 3: DC in the next 3 stitches, DC 2x in the next 2 stitches. Repeat until end of row. (produces a gradual increase).

ROW 4. DC entire row.

Continue to gradually increase every other row until you reach about 12 inches in both width and height. SC around the last row and fasten off. Cut yarn.

Repeat the above steps for the 2^nd side of pillow.

EARS: The ears are made of half moon shapes.

Using the same color as the pillow sides:

Row 1: Chain 10 stitches. Turn work.

ROW 2. DC in each of the 10 stitches for a total of 20 stitches. Turn work.

ROW 3: DC entire row.

Row 4: DC 2x in each of the stitches (produces a somewhat floppy ear). Fasten off and cut yarn.

Repeat entire process to make another ear.

FACE accents (eyes, nose- there is no mouth)

Option one:

EYES: Using accent color, thread yarn needle and create circles for eyes as big or small as you like. For the Happy side, create circles by sewing in and out of each stitch making circles. Fasten off on the wrong side of the face and cut yarn.

To create sleepy eyes, sew half moons that are upside down. Fasten off on the wrong side of the face and cut yarn.

One side is sleepy and the other side is happy.

NOSE: Thread yarn needle with accent color same as eyes and sew in an oval shape. The nose for the Koala is huge and will take up most of the face on both sides. When finished, Fasten off on the wrong side of the face and cut yarn.

OPTION TWO:

EYES: SC small circles for the eyes by creating a foundation row just like before when we made the larger circles for the face. Chain 4 stitches and connect them by slip stitching the first and last chain.

ROW 1: SC next row. Join row by slip stitching once again.

ROW 2: SC the last row once more. Fasten off and cut.

Create one more circle for the next eye. To sew the sleepy eyes on to the side, you will thread the yarn needle and sew the eyes on to the side. (TIP- pin the eyes into place so that they are even)

To create the sleepy eyes. You will simply Chain 6 or 8 and then SC the first row. To sew the sleepy eyes on to the side, you will thread the yarn needle and sew the eyes on to the side slightly bending them to create half moons that are upside down. J (TIP- pin the eyes into place so that they are even)

NOSE: Chain 10 stitches.

Row 1: DC into each stitch. At the end of the row, DC 3x into the last stitch and DO NOT TURN WORK, continue to DC on the bottom of the foundation row, thus creating an oval shape and crocheting in the round. When you get to the beginning of the row, DC 3x into the last stitch, then join row with a slip stitch.

ROW 2: DC 2x into each stitch. When you arrive at the end of the row, DC 3x into that last stitch. DO NOT TURN WORK, continue to DC 2x into each stitch at the bottom, thus creating a larger oval shape. Join row with a slip stitch.

(If nose is big enough, stop there. Fasten off and cut yarn. IF not, create one more row DC in each stitch, DC 3x at the end of the rows.)

PUTTING THE PILLOW TOGETHER:

After attaching the nose and eyes to each side of the pillow, we turn the work on the wrong side and pin together.

Making a note of where you would like the ears to go, take the yarn and yarn needle and whip stitch or sew along the entire edge from the bottom of where one ear will be attached to the bottom of the where the other ear will be attached. This creates a half sewn pillow with the entire top left open for stuffing and adding the ears.

Flip the pillow back to the right side and stuff with pillow stuffing. Pin ears in place, right side up and then sew the rest of the pillow closed. You now have an almost completed pillow. All that we need to do now is add the fluffy to the ears.

ADDING THE FLUFF TO THE EARS:

Fill ears with any kind of yarn you like. I choose a fluffy yarn for texture. Thread the yarn needle with the fluffy yarn and sew through the entire middle part of each ear, weaving through the front and back of the ear in each stitch so that both the front and back of the ear has fuzz. Leave some of the outer ear plain. Fasten off and cut yarn. Weave in the end. Finish.

TIP: When stuffing, I added a circle pillowcase or fabric to hold the stuffing so that it does not leak out. Then I took the entire circle pillow and placed that inside of the crocheted pillow for added security.

Infant mini-travel/receiving blanket- Blanket was made in same color scheme in a big Granny square about the size of a mini travel blanket for baby that can fit in the car seat or stroller, etc.

Using the accent color from the pillow, create a large granny square. There are various different kinds of granny squares that you can make. Online are many great videos to show you how. Here is a favorite of mine!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Wh7IOT9BI

When the blanket is a good size for an infant, create the next row with the main color from the pillow and make two rows using that color. This will be our new accent color for the blanket to contrast with the pillow.

Lastly, using the fluffy or textured yarn from the ears, create a textured border for the blanket. Fasten off, weave in tail and you are finished.

Now give your Mr. Koala and blanket a new home. Cheers!

Copyright 2013. Keturah Ariel, Crochet Savvy & Knitfabulous, www.crochetsavvy.com Pattern may not be sold without my permission; however it can be used to make items that you can sell as long as proper credit and citation is shown that pattern was created by Keturah Ariel of Crochet Savvy & Knitfabulous. You may link to this pattern from other websites, email and electronic documents. Please ask permission first if you need or want to copy this pattern to your website. While we prefer that you link it directly to us, we understand that sometimes people need the pattern for groups or charity crochet/knitting, etc. Please contact us at info@crochetsavvy.com if this is the case and you would like this pattern to be featured on your website, etc.

Posted on Tuesday, April 09, 2013 by Keturah Ariel

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“Earlene’s Everything Bag” Pattern

Fall 2012 Patterns:

“Earlene’s Everything Bag”

By: Keturah Ariel

Level: Beginner/Int.

Materials

6 skeins* of different textures of yarn (medium worsted, chunky/bulky, novelty yarns)

Hook Size: Jumbo (N or P size)

Needle and thread for sewing purse lining if needed

Fabric for purse lining if needed

*will only use 3 or 4 of the 6 skeins, but it is good to have extra yarn in case.

Gauge

Gauge is not as important but it is healthy to measure in inches.

Bag should be around 15 inches or however long you would like it. Bottom of the bag measures around 4 inches from center of to the edge radius. Handle measures around 21 inches handle length, width 3 3/4^th inches wide.

Abbreviations

SC-single crochet

DC-double crochet

HDC-half double crochet

Tr-treble or triple crochet

TIPS: handle all fly-a-ways and tails by weaving them inside your stitches as you go so that you do not need to mess with them after you are finish. I like to hide them within my stitches where you cannot see them. Also, if switching colors after a few rows, it is best in this project to simply tie/knot the new yarn right on to the last yarn. You will not see the knot because the project calls for the use of many yarns at the same time and because it is a chunky project or one with texture. I used regular medium weight yarns along with fluffy novelty yarns to add dimension to the bag.

STEP ONE: CIRCLE BOTTOM

Foundation ROW: Magic Loop (Ring)

Take 3 or 4 different yarns and hold them together as if they were one yarn and pull them into a medium size length piece.
Wrap it around your index and middle fingers forming a ring. Working yarn will be on the right side, vice versa for leftys. Hold the yarn where they overlap and while working behind the ring, insert your crochet hook making a loop from the working yarn (on the right side).
Chain 1 and then pull up on the magic loop closing it a little. Repeat making 10 chain stitches inside of the loop. When you have finished, pull the hanging yarn until it closes. This is the magic loop (ring). Create a knot to secure as an extra step. Weave in tail.

I like creating magic loops better than foundation chains for circles because the loop adjusts itself as needed. You can make the loop smaller or open it up for adding more chains.

Here is Crochet Geek’s tutorial for creating the magic loop (magic ring) by Teresa Richardson that also includes a video step by step tutorial:

http://crochet-mania.blogspot.ca/2009/02/how-to-do-crochet-magic-loop-circle.html

STEP TWO: THE BAG

ROW 2: SC twice in each of the 10 chain stitches. Total number of stitches should be 20.

ROW 3: DC entire row.

ROW 4: SC twice in each of the 20 stitches. Total number of stitches should be 40.

ROW 5: Tr every other stitch.

Option to switch to only two yarns at a time for the rest of the bag or keep going with your more bulkier option that is already at the base of the purse (3/4 yarns at a time).

ROW 6-14: Tr in between each stitch creating a mesh pattern.

ROW 15: HDC in each stitch entire row.

To form handles:

You will need to use four stitch markers. Measure how wide you would like the bag to be. Then place stitch markers at the beginning and ends of the area on each side of the bag. Make sure that your bag is even and that the handle areas are in the middle of the bag on both sides.

For this bag, my width was 11 stitches (a very wide handle).

CHOOSE AN OPTION on how to start your HANDLE:

Now either cut yarns and make a knot to secure bag, weave in the tail so that you can start with fresh yarn for the handle or
Continue to crochet into the area of the stitch markers to form the handle.

STEP THREE: HANDLE

If starting fresh with the handle: You can either crochet the handle separate and attach it at the points where you have inserted the stitch markers or you can begin to form handles with your new yarns in between the stitch markers.

Row 1: HDC crochet entire row. Turn work.

Row 2 –until handle length is achieved: Repeat HDC on each row and turn work at the end of each row.

Last Row: Graft the handle into the spot on the other side of the bag between your stich markers.

If continuing to crochet without cutting the yarns: just keep on crocheting into the area where you have placed the stitch markers.

Row 1: HDC crochet entire row in between the two stitch markers on one side of the bag. Turn work.

Row 2 –until handle length is achieved: Repeat HDC on each row and turn work at the end of each row.

Last Row: Graft the handle into the spot on the other side of the bag between your stich markers.

My finished handle measured 21 inches handle length, width 3 3/4^th in.

EDGING

The edging is done in SC with one contrasting color yarn (medium worsted yarn) for added detail.

Beginning at the bottom corner of the handle, start to SC along the outer edge of the handle and along the top of the bag (last row before your began the handle) until you reach the bottom corner of the other side of the handle. Cut yarn, make a knot and weave in the tail.

Do the same thing for the other side of the handle.

You are now finished! Unless….you want to line the bag.

Lining the bag: Option

I did not line my bag. I like it open and droopy.

If lining the bag, cut your fabric an half size to a full size bigger that your bag so that you have extra space at the bottom of the bag. Because the nature of the stitch will cause the bag to expand and get wider (droopy) when items are placed inside, you must have extra fabric. This way you will not be stuck with a small lining that constricts the droppy-ness of the bag.

Once you have cut your fabric, turn bag inside out and pin the top of the fabric near the edge of the bag neatly with raw edging on the inside. Top stitch hand sew along the top of the bag. If using a sewing machine just be careful and use whatever settings are correct for knitted or thick fabric so that your needle does not break.

Enjoy! (Send me pictures of your bag and I will post them)

Copyright 2010. Keturah Ariel, Crochet Savvy & Knitfabulous, www.crochetsavvy.com Pattern may not be sold without my permission; however it can be used to make items that you can sell as long as proper credit and citation is shown that pattern was created by Keturah Ariel of Crochet Savvy & Knitfabulous. You may link to this pattern from other websites, email and electronic documents. Please ask permission first if you need or want to copy this pattern to your website. While we prefer that you link it directly to us, we understand that sometimes people need the pattern for groups or charity crochet/knitting, etc. Please contact us at info@crochetsavvy.com if this is the case and you would like this pattern to be featured on your website, etc.

Posted on Tuesday, April 09, 2013 by Keturah Ariel

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"Pauline’s Fall Infinity Scarf" Pattern

by: KeTurah Ariel

Level: Beginner

Materials

1 skein of multi-colored (soft medium worsted) BRAND: “I love this Yarn!” Jazz Stripes

Hook Size: (10 US 6.0mm size)

Gauge

Gauge is not important but it is healthy to measure in inches.

Scarf uses Bullion stitching on edging with Double and Treble stitches within the scarf. It is crocheted lengthwise. Scarf should be able to wrap around at least once. Wear infinity scarves multiple ways.

Abbreviations

DC-double crochet

Tr-treble or triple crochet

Bulllion stitch crochet

Pattern

Chain 200

Row one: Work Bullion stitch by wrapping hook six times in each bobble. Repeat until the end of row. Join the beginning and end of the row thus creating a circle.

Row two: Tr entire row. Join row.

Row three: DC row. Join row.

Row four and five: Tr entire row. Join row.

Row six: Work Bullion stitch by wrapping hook six times in each bobble. Repeat until the end of row and fasten off. Weave in the end tail.

Complete.

This is my favorite scarf. It is thin but also super comfy for summer nights or fall days. Try creating it with a multi color yarn like I did because it gives it that “WHOAH” factor! And in the spring or summer time, try a crochet thread or lightweight yarn with colors of the season for a more lighter and looser touch.

Posted on Tuesday, April 09, 2013 by Keturah Ariel

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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Caffeine Cozies! Breast Cancer Awareness FREE Pattern

For a 16 oz. takeout cup:
With worsted weight yarn and a G hook, chain 30. Join into a ring and hdc into each chain. Increase 2 sts every other round (e.g. inc 1, hdc 12, inc 1, hdc rem), checking the fit every once in a while, working a plain round to tighten it up if necessary. I like a cozy about 6 rounds high. Stretchy yarns like wool need fewer increase rounds - increasing 2 sts every third round might do the trick. If you want it to fit lower, start with a shorter foundation chain.

Found info on where to find the pattern here:

http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=308423.0

Posted on Wednesday, October 17, 2012 by Keturah Ariel

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